Hulk Smashing Diabetes... Breaking Down My 8 Types of Anger

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There used to be times when I"d get very angry about diabetes.

So angry in fact, that I"d want to reach inside my body and rip out my useless pancreas in order to Hulk Smash it into a wall.

Being diagnosed as a young kid, my rebellious teenage years weren"t all rosy as far as diabetes management was concerned, and I spent most of those adolescent and early adult years being angry that I had type 1...

Needless to say, it was not a productive time in my life, and I have a lot of regrets about not handling my emotions and mental state better back then.

Here we are 20 years later, and those feelings of intense anger and denial (and the accompanying depression) are few and far between, as I"ve come to embrace my diabetes -- for the most part.

But I realize the emotions are still there, lurking quietly just below the surface. While I"m not nearly as prone to Get My Hulk On when it comes to diabetes these days, I have spent some time of late exploring the anger within me, and even parsing out different types.

Anger Management Thoughts

This all came crashing in recently when we received an email pitch about an anger management coach who"s publishing a new book that hones in on anger as it relates to those of us living with chronic conditions, like diabetes! One Dr. Bernard Golden in Chicago is a psychotherapist focused on overcoming destructive anger, and he"s apparently tapped into meditation, visualization, self-reflection, and anger-logging (?) to develop a "breakthrough" way to achieve "healthy anger and self-control."

Ummm, OK...

The very idea of that professional speciality makes me smile, as it brings to mind scenes from the 2003 movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson.

We often ignore pitches of this type, but this one hit home because it taps into the "mental health and diabetes" umbrella that really does deserve more attention -- beyond the basic resources offered by the ADA, Joslin Diabetes Center, DiabetesNet, Mayo Clinic, and the like.

Here"s what Dr. Golden (seriously, what a name!) has to say:

"A diagnosis of chronic illness often triggers anger, as do the many challenges that face us in managing our conditions. People with diabetes are often especially prone to experiencing anger, because of fluctuating blood glucose levels that can contribute to mood swings, making them vulnerable. Anger can harm our relationships, and human connection is critical for our health and well-being."

Uh huh. No kidding. Anyone who"s endured high blood sugars or the glucoasters that mess with our minds know this first-hand.

He goes on to say, "Cultivating "healthy anger" involves learning to pause and reflect on what we’re experiencing, rather than react to it. "Healthy anger" has been shown to enhance our resilience and overall well-being. And it empowers us, because it fuels assertive (rather than aggressive) communication, which improves our success at achieving our goals and satisfying our wants and needs."

While it may sound like a bit of a crock, I actually think this Dr. Golden has a point. I have found that stepping back and reflecting on my diabetes anger is exactly what I need to do sometimes -- without dwelling for too long, of course.

Eight Types of Diabetes Anger

When I"m at the boiling point of D-anger, the last thing I really feel like doing is slamming on the brakes and singing I Feel Pretty. But, without being so dramatic, I have learned to step back and distance myself from whatever"s drawing my ire at the moment. That may mean playing with the dog, tackling some outdoorsy yard work, or cleaning the house or washing dishes.

Over the years, I"ve also started trying to categorize my anger as a way to better cope with my diabetes emotions and figure out what can or can"t be done to mellow out. I"ve discovered there are 8 main variations of my D-Anger:

1. My Own Worst Critic Is... Yep, it"s me. Many of us living the pancreatically-challenged kind of life tend to judge ourselves pretty harshly when diabetes doesn"t play along. Whether it"s a high or low blood sugar or A1C, we attach those "good" and "bad" feelings to the numbers. Sometimes, I get angry at myself for not carb-counting correctly or dosing insulin at the right time, or for slacking on the number of BG checks done in a given day. These feelings of self-loathing are the most simple and basic D-anger feelings for me, and they"re the ones I can actually do something about.


2. Yo, Diabetes Cops: You know the type. Those people who can"t stop asking questions ("Can you eat that?") or insist on offering all kinds of advice ("try cinnamon!") based on their perceptions about diabetes. These can be frustrating and annoying, but 99% of the time these D-Police are just trying to help. They have good intentions, and I find it best to either avoid responding or just smile and nod. Directing anger at them isn"t worth the effort, most of the time.


3. Lows and Highs: OK, this is all a category on its own. When my blood sugar drops or goes sky high, my emotions go along for the ride. Often, I lose the ability to keep my senses and stay calm. Every little thing sets me off, and I snap at people around me for everything from the question "Are you OK?" to simple everyday items that normally don"t rub me the wrong way. Of course, staying in range and getting back into tighter control is the way to avoid these moments, but when they do happen they"re usually followed by guilt and apologies for those on the receiving end of my D-anger.


4. Fear of the Unknown: This is one of the toughest, IMHO. Diabetes complications are scary. The fear of hypos is real and can be crippling, prompting you to keep your BGs higher, thus risking future unknown complications for the sake of waking up alive. No matter how much I try to keep a positive attitude and outlook, these fears are always lurking in my mind. And sometimes, after a streak of frustrating D-moments and uncertainty about blurry vision or painful neuropathy in the feet, I can"t help but get very scared and depressed -- and angry. In these moments, turning to my loving and supporting spouse for comfort and reassurance helps so much. As does the Diabetes Online Community and all the peer-support from D-peeps who "get it." I"m able to remind myself that in the end, I might get run over by an ice cream truck tomorrow, i.e. there"s no guarantee of the good or bad in life. I have to "just keep swimming," try not to get overwhelmed, and realize that there isn"t anything you can do but your best for whatever that"s worth.


5. Wallowing in the "Why Me?" Abyss: Totally pointless. As a teenager and later guy in my early 20s, this was a big part of my life -- even if it was beneath the surface in my mind. I lived in denial, and got very angry at times about why I was chosen for this T1D life. It"s just not fair, I used to think. So I ignored it and just pretended to be like everyone else, forsaking my D-management quite a bit. I"m not treading in these wallowing waters anymore, as I tend to see the positive vs. the negative when it comes to "Why Me?" I wish I could go back in time and share that with my younger self, telling him to do better because life with diabetes doesn"t have to be doom and gloom.


6. Rage Against the Machine (see also: Fight the Power): This is a whole different kind of anger, coupled with frustration and bitterness about a healthcare system that is unnecessarily complicated. Access to diabetes tools and treatments is getting more difficult. High costs for insulin, meds and supplies makes me angry, along with the insurance companies and third-party distributors that complicate everything. These days, this kind of D-anger is what really makes me want to Hulk Smash something... and it takes a lot to not yell into the phone at these people standing in the way of my health and stress-free happiness. While less rage-inducing, our medical care teams can fuel another aspect of D-anger -- from them being late to appointments even though we"re not allowed to be, to charging excessive fees for simple tasks to the often-wide gaps between physician and patient perspectives. I"m not sure how to respond to this particular type of D-anger, other than try to remain as cool and collected as possible and fight the good fight one day at a time.


7. Misconception and Myth Madness: Mainstream media makes so many mistakes, and the public at large is just so generally uninformed about diabetes... Or they just say or do things that drive the D-Community up the wall with anger. This used to get on my nerves more than it does now, I suppose because I just got jaded after the 12-millionth time something stupid was said or written. For example, the New York BBQ joint that posted a sign asking insulin-injectors to do that in private - it enraged many in the DOC, fueling a campaign to condemn the small business owner and hurt his business. That just goes too far, and makes all of us look bad. Then again, you see stories like the Mississippi state lawmaker making outrageous comments to a D-Mom trying to get basic Medicaid coverage for her kid with diabetes. THAT makes my blood boil, and aside from taking to social media and using the phone and computer to communicate civily with elected officials, it"s a D-anger that will linger... until it fades and makes way for the next situation.


8. Civil Wars Among PWDs: Too often we find ourselves fighting each other within the Diabetes Community, on a variety of topics -- how advocacy orgs should function and focus, why some legislation gets more attention than others, whether we will ever see or even care about a cure, the tech and treatments we use, low carb or not, how parents guide their children with diabetes... heck, even the names we call ourselves and whether those names should be changed. As they say... A House Divided Cannot Stand. The same goes for a community. We"re all on the same team.

As mentioned, most of my rage over diabetes is more settled now that I"m a guy in my later 30s. Most of the time, turning to family and friends in the DOC is what helps me through the bad moments. I realize now that going all Hulk Smash isn"t the way to handle most of these situations -- although every once in a while, letting out the big green giant of diabetes rage is exactly what"s called for.

I"d be curious to know what your types of D-anger are and how you deal with them, or what ways diabetes anger has gotten the better of you at certain times in life.

And with that, let me just leave you all with this thought:

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn"t adhere to Healthline"s editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline"s partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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